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[  Stonehenge BBS: Presents           ]
[  The Real Sysop and Unreal Board    ]
[  Crashers...Volume 1                ]
[  -Written by:The Silver Elf-        ]
Due to the emense popularity of RR's
"A Real Pirate" (and out of sheere
boredom) I have decided to start a new
series of Real People...
Real Sysops are at least 15 years old
Real Sysops don't call other boards and
Sysops to find out "The latest modz..."
[Real Sysops have enough intelligence
to write their own]
Real Sysops dont post:"If you crash
my board, tell me how you did it..."
Real Sysops appreciate Nick Naimo's
hard effort to create a decent BBS.
Real Sysops have long since deleted the
Rem Statements that say "This BBS was
written by..."
Real Sysops have long since deleted
the download section in their board and
instead, add an AE/Catsend line
Real Sysops dont run boards on 2 drives
They get Hard drives
Real Sysops name their board after a
historic place,or some other pirate
related idea
[ie. Stonehenge,Xanadu,The Outpost,
The Adventurer's Tavern, Pirates
Bay...not Tamerlain's Keep,The
Ware Palace,The Bathroom etc...]
Real Sysops dont run boards from their
Real Sysops dont watch "The Whiz Kid",
"He-man",or collect "Transformers"
[As stated before real Sysops are
 over 13...]
Real Sysops aren't afraid when people
post how to crash a board on their 
Real Sysops arent afraid to cut 13
year old users off their board.
Real Sysops know the difference 
between a Real Pirate and 13 year
old kids with modems...
Real Sysops dont post messages
saying "please post!"
Real Sysops know that John Doe
is not a real name and 000-000-0000
is not a real number.
Real Sysops are not impressed by
13 year olds posting backspacing
techniques,and spinning cursors
Real Sysops dont care if they have
a Rag-Board,or Backspacing Board...
Real Sysops have at least 6 sub-boards
and at least 3 different files section.
Real Sysops don't get scared when someone
logs-on under "The FBI","The Fed","The
Board Crasher" or "Mr. Crash"
Real Sysops dont have backspacing, or
Spinning cursor log-ons...
Real Sysops dont answer feedback that says
"How do you get out of this???"
"Is this a BBS or AE line?" or
"Why did you name your board?..."
When chatting:
Real Sysops dont use excuses like
"My mother is calling","My phone is
ringing","My disks are falling"
or "I have to go to sleep" to get the
13 year old to go...A Real Sysop merely says
"You are Boring...[Sysop:Off Line]"
When advertising your board:
Real Sysops dont post "My board has..."
because Real Sysops know that 13 year olds
who do post that didnt write the mods anyway.
Real Sysops dont have week-end only boards
[Real Sysops go 24-hours]
Real Sysops aren't offended by text files
that tell the public how to crash boards...
Real Sysops know what 99E99 is...
Real Sysops dont have long log-offs like
"Call these super duper c00l rad boards!"
[Real Sysops know Real Pirates Hang up way
before that...]
Real Sysops dont log on as 50 different people
to make the board look big...
Real Sysops keep moronic feedback to create
Losers-Files...and post them on their board...
Real Sysops dont run original ABBS,RBBS,IBBS,
Real Sysops dont ask users for donations for
BBS parties,or Hard drive's...
Real Sysops make their board lower-case...only
13 year olds use upper case...
Real Sysops dont care if they have spelled
something wrong on their board, their
allowed too...
Real Sysops enjoy watching Unreal Board Crashers
trying to crash their board...
The Unreal Board Crasher is easy to identify.
This is how...
Unreal Board Crashers:
Have names like:
Mr. Crash Man,Mr. Init,The FBI Crasher,
Disk Say Bye Bye...Mr. HAHAHA,Ima Gonna Crash
Your Board,Mr. 99E99,Ben Dover,Andrew Davis,
Lester Cosworth
Send E-mail to every user asking
"How do you crash this board?"
Type at the main menu prompt
"I know your watching...Answer me!"
Hit Ctrl-G's to attract attention
Are Under 15 years old...
Post messages like:
"Latest Backspacing tips"
"I have these warez"
"How do you..."
"Please E-mail me"
"I belong to..."
Think 99E99 is just the greatest thing
since peanut butter...
Like typing
thinking it is the newest way to crash
a board...
Dont know how to type
/ex or /s to get out of a message.
Like watching the entire log-off
Type Init Hello at log-on thinking
it will do something amazing...
Leave feedback saying
"I didnt try to crash your board so
dont worry..."
"I'll call back tomorrow"
"Uh-...sorry...i hit this key
by mistake..."
"If your are watching...hi!"
"Can you raise my level?"
"Can I get Sysops Access?"
How was that? Its a first...but be
prepared to expect the next volume of
This series...Dont read any cheap
Call-Stonehenge 10 meg:408-384-1237
The Silver Elf:Sysop...a Real One
call the board to get the latest of 
these series! Be sure to read 
The Real Pirates Guide too!!!