BANG! POW! This is only a taste of what it feels like to have your senses assaulted by The Rat Bastards. Unparalleled in their displays of tooth-rattling manhood since the long-gone years of the "Jet Set" ... the "Rat Pack" ... the "House Un-American Activities Committee" ... "Stan Freberg" ... "Doris Day" ... The Rat Bastards understand better than anyone the importance of style ... grace ... elegance ... not to mention skilled bowling technique.1 The Bastards are a small, eclectic group of swingers and hepcats, baby ... they are in the groove ... down with the program ... hip to the word on the street.2 They're ginchy, squinchy, and booty-ass-pinchy. They're America's Dance Date for the 21st Century. You hear them before you see them, and yet you still wait for the show.
Nobody knows their origins, not even the Bastards themselves. "It's a phenomenon, can you dig it?" They are always and forever. Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo. Thunderbolt, Lightfoot, Freebie and The Bean. They are Electra-Glide In Blue meets The Gumball Rally with eight balls and four dicks. "What is behind me...she does not matter."
Are you feeling it yet? Are you in it for the big score? Are you locked, loaded, and ready for the party?
If not, what the hell are you doing here?
-- Liner notes from Rat Bastards 1990!
by Grammy winner Rory Guy
1 Except for Scott, the only
person on Earth who can cut himself on a bowling ball...admittedly an
exceptional ability in and of itself.
2 "Bananas." Hey, all the kids are saying it.
Copyright 1998, Ernie Longmire (Lazlo Nibble). All rights reserved.