We regret to inform you that your listing for item #31635625043, "Realistic DigiChron III AM-FM Flip-Style Clock Radio", has been cancelled due to an inaccurate description. While we agree that the item may be reasonably described as "VINTAGE", "RETRO" and (however tenuously) "SPACE AGE", we are unable to uncover any justification for referring to this example of the late Nixon years' fetish for the domestic rebranding of poorly-constructed Japanese consumer-electronic tchotchkes in injection-molded wood-grain-"style" casings as "ATOMIC", "MID CENTURY MODERN" or (god help us) "EAMES ERA" -- the last of which invites the instigation of crushing lawsuits from the late designers' estate. Next you'll be listing your mother's old harvest-gold Rubbermaid dishrack as a "POST-WAR CLASSIC" or trying to pimp out that giant wooden fork and spoon that your late aunt had hanging on her dining room wall by putting "NOGUCHI NELSON FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT" in the title. Please stop, as you've given three of our more design-focused members the night sweats and (we believe) caused one other's recent aneurysm.

Yours for Truth In Advertising,

The Appropriate Titles And Descriptions Guild, Local 221.

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Previously at Studio Nibble...